Wrestling in Your Soul

Ultimately, there are two Kingdoms: Jesus' kingdom of light vs. the Satanic kingdom of darkness.

Our fully sovereign Creator gives each person the freedom to choose between the two. He tries to draw us, woo us, and influence us to choose Jesus and His kingdom. But He won't force us.

 

Remember that you are a three part being:

• You have a body. It is your "earth suit", what your soul and spirit wear while you're on this earth. It is temporary, designed to expire. Dust to dust. If you belong to Jesus, it will one day be replaced with a glorified body fit for heaven.

• You have a soul. It is the home of your mind, will and emotions. Your soul is attached to your spirit and will spend eternity with it. Once you're born again, your soul is where the internal wrestling happens.

• You have a spirit. Or, better said, you ARE a spirit. Your spirit is the real, permanent you. It dwells for now in your body, your earth suit.

Your soul provides the wiring, so to speak, between your spirit and your physical body. When it's time for your body to die, your spirit will leave your body, taking your soul with it.

If your spirit is not born again by the time your body dies, it and your soul will forever remain separated from eternal life in Jesus.

When I chose to accept Jesus' payment for my sins and turn to follow Jesus, my alienated-from-God spirit was instantly reborn into a new and right relationship with God (1 Corinthians 6:17; Romans 8:15-16). It works the same way for every born again Believer.

Gaining a born again spirit is a miraculous, mysterious, quick-as-a-hiccup event. Being born again happens in a single moment-in-time. It isn't a drawn-out process of a little bit here and a little bit there until finally complete.

Here's what happens next.

After a person's spirit is born again, there is a follow-on transformation of the soul. This is a process. In some ways, there's a wrestling match as the old ways of thinking, feeling and acting don't want to be kicked out. But God wants the old ways evicted and replaced by His new ways of thinking, feeling and acting.

This is when your inner person, aka your heart, can experience two opposing forces. The internal battle can go easy or it can go hard.

In Philippians 2:12, NIV, Paul wrote to Believers about this soul-level process. He said

...continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.

 

In this verse, Paul is talking about transforming the Believer's mind, will, and emotions.

• He isn't telling us how to be born again; he's telling us how to walk out our lives after we become born again.

• Paul DIDN'T say "work FOR" your salvation; that already happened when your human spirit was born again and merged with the Holy Spirit.

• Paul DID say "work OUT" your salvation, that is, work to replace your soul's old ways with the Holy Spirit's new ways.

There are many other verses that also talk about the soul's journey of transformation.

Here's just one.

Romans 12:2, NIV

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...

 

This verse is referring to the internal struggle between old ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving vs. new ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Fortunately, the Lord doesn't leave us without help as we wrestle.

Philippians 1:6, NKJV

...He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.

 

Philippians 2:13, Easy-to-Read Version

...it is God who is working in you. He helps you want to do what pleases him, and he gives you the power to do it.

 

Part of God's prescription for this internal battle is to focus on godly things instead of earthly things. Colossians 3:2, NIV.

In other words, if you give your attention to the wrong stuff, your struggle will be worse. It's the old "garbage in, garbage out" principle.

You counteract that by giving attention to godly things. One key part of it is this: the more you apply your heart to knowing, understanding, and believing Scripture, the better. Another key is to grow your prayer life and your heart intimacy with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

But there are times that the wrestling in your soul still needs help. When you're stuck, be honest with Him and ask for His help.

The Lord rewrites our souls by working from the inside out. The religious leaders of Jesus' day didn't get that. They tried to put on a good show without having real internal change.

In Matthew 23:25-28 (New Living Translation), it's recorded that Jesus told them

“What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are so careful to clean the outside of the cup and the dish, but inside you are filthy—full of greed and self-indulgence!

You blind Pharisee! First wash the inside of the cup and the dish, and then the outside will become clean, too.

What sorrow awaits you teachers of religious law and you Pharisees. Hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs—beautiful on the outside but filled on the inside with dead people’s bones and all sorts of impurity.

Outwardly you look like righteous people, but inwardly your hearts are filled with hypocrisy and lawlessness."

 

Ouch. 

Now back to me. Maybe you'll see some of yourself reflected in my story.

Sometimes I fool others. I can even fool myself. But I don't ever fool the Lord.

In His light, I recognize that I'm not good at fixing my soul's issues on my own. I can nibble around the edges, but I need His help to get to the center of things. I am dependent upon Him to work deep inside my soul and fix me from the inside out.

I've learned that the initial, life-changing repentance I made decades ago, as deeply as I meant it, still had holes and gaps. When I see those holes and gaps, I choose to turn them over to His cleansing forgiveness and transformation. 1 John 1:9 (NKJV) 

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

 

There are times I recognize that some pattern in my mind, will and emotions is being obstinate and defiant, resisting change.

My initial overall repentance from years ago still holds. My spirit remains born again and I haven't lost my salvation. But the particulars of my soul's gradual transformation can get sticky. Yes, sticky. Sticky to the point that I need His help getting unstuck.

Where do I go with that? His Holy Spirit is in many ways closer to me than I am to myself, so I can't hide any of my soul's foot dragging from Him.

To repeat: my soul sometimes feels divided. Sometimes the ugly stuff that's totally unfit for Heaven fights being evicted. When that happens, I absolutely need His help.

Those unfit areas may be blatant, obvious sins. But they're more likely to be subtle and hidden, things like selfishness, greed, arrogance, unforgiveness, pride, anger, self-righteousness and so on. Notice that everything I've mentioned sooner or later boils down to a shortage of love for Him and for others.

I shouldn't have a problem with this stuff, but sometimes I do. You, too? The truth can hurt, right?

Jesus knows we need help. He doesn't condemn us for needing help, but we need to ask.

A grieving Father once cried out for Jesus to help his son. We're told about it in Mark 9:23-24 (NKJV)

Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”

Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!”

 

Jesus didn't condemn the man or find fault with him. The man's honesty was important to Jesus. In His mercy, He cured the man's son.

And in John 7:17 (NKJV), Jesus speaks about people who are willing to do the Father's will. Reading that many years ago, it struck me that there were times I wasn't even up to that standard. I realized that there were times that my best was to pray "Lord, I'm at least willing to be made willing."

In Psalm 86:11 (Tree of Life Version), King David prayed

Teach me Your way, Adonai, that I may walk in Your truth.
Give me an undivided heart to fear Your Name. 

When the Holy Spirit puts His finger on foot-dragging in my soul, I often pray like this:

Lord, you know I'm struggling with this. My soul feels divided. There are things in me that don't want to be evicted. Somewhere inside I'm feeling pulled between the old man and the new man. As long as that wrestling continues, I can't honestly tell you that I'm fully willing to be changed.

So, using the free will You gave me, I'm asking You to help me replace my internal foot-dragging with whole-hearted surrender. I want my soul to be 100% with You. I need your help. While I can't truly say I'm completely willing, I can at least say I'm willing to be made willing.

 

If that prayer suits you, pray it or something like it.

Scripture clearly teaches that, in our born again spirits, Believers already have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16, NKJV).

But in our souls, we're still being transformed (Romans12:2, NKJV). We're not out of bounds to ask for His help.

He knows what a mess He took on when He welcomed me into His family. I didn't come to Him because I had it all together. No, just the opposite. Since I can't truly fix my soul on my own, I'm dependent upon His transformation of my soul from the inside out.

At times, I can be my own worst enemy. When my heart feels split...that is, when it partly wants to change but partly doesn't...the Holy Spirit is more than ready to help.

That's when I tell Him that I'm willing to be made willing.

Lord, where You find me dragging my feet, I need your help. Shine your light into whatever resistance remains in the dark corners of my soul. I want to be changed by You. I'm willing to be made willing.

Where my surrender is shallow and my transformation incomplete, don't leave me the way You find me now. 

In Jesus' name, Amen.

 

When you're wrestling with a divided heart, confess it and tell Him you're willing to be made willing.